Daniel and Mira continued their private therapy sessions. He talked and she listened with little input. He informed her during one of her visits that the team of doctors said that his healing was miraculous. She beamed upon hearing this report and again said virtually nothing. But she thought, “Healing is holistic.”
Listening to Daniel and his philosophy on life was opening new ways of thinking for her. She was seeing greater possibilities just by listening to a man with an entirely different mindset from Brian’s. Daniel continually improved and regained his strength. One night, during her shift, he said that he wanted to walk down the hall. He had been practicing with the physical therapist so this was an approved move.
She helped him up and handed him his deep maroon robe. She noted that it was quite plush and she could tell that it was quite expensive. She silently wondered, “Who is this man?”
They walked slowly towards the end of the corridor and both agreed to go out to the atrium. The hospital had a balcony where visitors could look down at the lobby and see the serene water fountain. They found a place by the guard rail and paused. There was silence as they looked down from the 9th floor.
He looked down and stared. It was as if he was in a trance-like state as he peered into the open abyss. Mira was attentive as she stood close by. She noticed that after a prolonged silence his shoulders begin to shake as he leaned uncomfortably forward. She saw the tears as he asked, “How could she do this to me?”
Mira knew that he was having a moment and temporarily leaned forward with him as a balancing act. She privately had her own misgivings about life’s throes. As he was steeped in his anguish, she thought of her own. Her mind went back to the screaming match she’d had with Brian before coming to work. ‘What is this really all about?’ she inaudibly wondered.
She looked back over at Daniel who was undoubtedly in deep emotional pain. She drew in a deep breath as she felt his pain and her own. They both stared down to the ground level as if to say, “Were there any answers? Was it all futile? Was there any hope or a way out?”
For a moment in time, they both felt the bleakness of life. He was in pain both physically and emotionally. She was also tired of fighting and she knew that her bleary eyes gave her away. For a moment, she thought of all of the dreams she’d had about her falling down, down, down. She wondered when she would stop feeling like she was continuously tumbling in a downward spiral.
They both quietly looked down at the miniature people in motion below. That was where all of the confusion laid. That was where all of the mazes were endlessly winding, twisting and turning. They had a bird’s eye view and were temporarily above the fray.
Mira somehow came back from the dark corners of her mind. She first pulled him back into an upright position. She handed him a tissue. He took it without ever looking at her, obviously a bit embarrassed that she had seen him like this. She gently rubbed his back to comfort him and a slight electric wave emanated from the touch. She wondered if he had felt what she’d felt. She said in a low voice, “It’s going to be okay.”
He turned to her and simply said, “My sweet, sweet girl.” She slipped her hand into his and squeezed it for reassurance. He held on and they silently walked back towards his room. When they had made it halfway back to his room, she realized that they were still holding hands. There had been a clearing and they both knew what they had to do as they walked forward.
Lynn October 21, 2014