Has it ever dawned on you that you could be living someone else’s dream? Or even worse, someone else’s nightmare? Perhaps you woke up from a deep subconscious sleep and looked at your contacts list. You responded, “Oh my,” when you realized that it had an uncanny resemblance to another person’s who happens to be in your life.
Before you realized it, you had evaporated into thin air. Vanished! Poof! You had become so enmeshed and entangled with those close to you, that you have lost your precious and vulnerable self.
Guess what? It can happen. And oh, it can happen so subtly with little fanfare or notice. In an effort to be cordial, compliant, understanding or any of those wonderful traits, you can give up more than good deeds and actions. You could end up giving up your identity.
Then, the discomfort begins. You may not know why it feels as if you are wearing a pair of hurting shoes, but it’s because they are not yours. They don’t fit. You have started calling their friends your friends. You have begun to frequent the places that they regularly go.
You may find yourself telling their jokes or even sounding like them when you laugh. And then, the alarm systems begin to blare. You have to admit to yourself and say, ” I gave up being me.”
You have no one to blame but yourself. Once the shock diminishes and the anger subsides, you must take back the reins and take charge. You might need to do a little inventory to remember who you are and what you really like and don’t like. Then, you must get busy as you rebuild your world.
Of course there may be a tug of war because you have unknowingly relinquished so much. You now have to create your own list of friends and re-establish those things that bring a smile to your lips. But, you must do it with all of your might.
After you have taken responsibility for what you have allowed to happen and you are back in your own driver’s seat, you can steer straight ahead. This time you vow to be more vigilant.
You draw two deep lines in the sand to mark off your lane and label the sign above, My Path. You keep a high watch to make sure that this never happens to you again.
And as a reminder, you decide to post some helpful quotes in visible places around your house. Steve Jobs said, “Your time is limited; so don’t waste it living someone else’s life!”
Lynn M. February 26, 2016