Is there something in your past that you can’t face? Have you masked over the pain to avoid feeling the hurt? A high price is paid when you are either unable or unwilling to face those unpleasant issues. You must take a deep breath and peer down into the well of darkness so that you can truly heal.
The New Year is around the corner and you want to get off to a fresh start. Here are some suggestions:
•Go to the memorabilia closet and pull out those items from that painful era such as pictures, brochures, garments or music.
•Place them all around a room.
•Give yourself at least 48 hours to relive those times and face the good, the bad and the ugly.
The pain could center on some loss such as a job or of a loved one through separation, divorce or death. But loss is loss and unresolved pain is unresolved pain. Perhaps, you have been trying to numb the pain for years by traveling, buying expensive clothes, houses or cars.
However, the nagging ache still lingers down in the depths of your being and nothing seems to bring real satisfaction. Sometimes you know what is bothering you and sometimes you have to take time to remove the layers that blanket the core of your discomfort.
If you really quiet your mind and let those pensive thoughts surface, some faces, names and events will show up like the Ace of Spades in a deck of cards. Once you start facing the fact that there is some unfinished business from the past, you should put that card face up on the table and spend some time with that phase of your life.
Pick up a pen and pad or iPad and write down what you are feeling. Pause. Then, dance with it. Cry about it, if necessary. Ask yourself if you could have handled things differently. Either way, it is a time that has gone by so the only thing that you can really do now is face it. Own it.
Then, you can see what was learned. After all, some things are simply out of your control so the best thing you can do is accept it and adjust your feelings about whatever or whomever. The bad feelings will begin to lift and eventually, they will evaporate into thin air.
It all occurred to make you stronger. And by all means, remember the good times. Every phase of your life left some good memories. It all helped you reach a higher tick mark on your totem pole of inner growth.
People can only give what they have to give. Life is often seen through rose-colored glasses and you may have assumed that there was more depth to the barrel. You got all that was available.
Make peace with it and walk on into your brighter future. Breathe! Smile and sigh “Thanks!” You lived through it and it helped to shape the you that is you!
Lynn M. December 11, 2016